My story is by no means unique. So many travel this road and I know in writing about my journey and learning I have the opportunity to learn and maybe shine a light in a dark place other's are walking in. Atleast that is my dream.
I am in a place right now where I am ready to hand it all over to someone way more experienced and qualified. In no way do I mean this negatively. Oh no exactly the opposite! But before I or anyone can do that we must reach a place of being done...done with the struggle, done with trying to make it work and figure it all out. A virtual leaping point or diving board is where I stand, toes hanging over the edge, taking deep breaths and releasing the fear of the leap.
With that in mind, I do not share this leg of my journey for sympathy or pity. I share it as a lesson in letting go of what no longer serves us and that I can ....YOU CAN, change the course and find softer footing.
Where I arrived at this afternoon is a place of being unwilling to settle any longer...not for one more second! No longer will I accept or settle for living in a place that at some point will be yanked out from under me, or robbing Peter to pay Paul. No longer do I accept that I have been in this financial hell because I am supposed to be and believing that is just something I have to "deal with." I am no longer willing to walk with my chin to my chest in resigned disgrace at having to walk into the grocery store with $10 to buy a bag of potatoes and a bottle of laundry detergent to feed my family and wash towels for them to use. NOR am I willing to look at other's full shopping carts and wish I was able to fill mine full well knowing that I cannot. I will no longer believe that I am unworthy of financial security or that I somehow don't deserve to make a living doing what I love and am meant to do instead of working 3 jobs just to barely pay the bills and put food on the table exhausted and stressed every evening.
Within the larger picture as the realizations and thoughts hit me, is that It is my Divine right to have my needs provided for without worrying, stressing, crying, panicking and continually going without and sacrificing.
What I am WILLING to do is release believing that this is just my lot in life, that I have always done it so it's no big deal. I am willing to change my core beliefs and along with them how I respond to these situations. I can choose to release it to the Universe and know that I will be brought exactly what is right for me, that will provide the peace I need to continue to focus on service and helping other's learn these lessons too in their own journeys. Today.....I let go. I am done feeling this way and I embrace the gift of handing it all over to my Higher Power, without resistance and expectation of the outcome or needing to know the way it will be changed.
How many are now so ready to let go of all the things that they believe or suffer through and instead, believe they are here for joy, peace and far greater things? For me I know the answer, for others I ask....are you ready? REALLY REALLY READY? Time to truly let go of what no longer is serving us my friends, no matter what those "things" may be. I offer my hand to you to hold as you let it go and dance forward. <3
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